Things That Suck

Appropriately, I have to start this post with Me. Basically, it's been forever since I've posted anything. It almost feels like going to confession (though I've never done that, so I can only guess that this is how it feels) where you've put off doing something you know you should do and the more you put it off, the more you feel you have to make up for. So, I suck.

Pennies also suck. I hate those bastards and I wish everything would just get rounded up or down to the nearest nickel. When I share this opinion with people I get the strangest looks - as if people actually enjoy or do something with their pennies. I suppose one day I may be in tragic need of a penny, but I get the feeling that the homeless people I see begging for change on the side of the road get a little pissy when they receive pennies. Sure it's U.S. currency, but most of them can barely keep their pants up without having them weighted down by a pocketful of pennies.

I think this 'forever' stamp might suck. I think the idea is pretty good, I mean I get all fucked up when they raise postage and I have to go looking for those damn three-cent stamps that Marge Gunderson's husband designed. At this very moment, I'm not even sure what postage costs and yet within arm's reach is a pack of stamps that say 'First Class' and that's about it - they couldn't even print these fuckers with an amount? So, the 'forever' stamp is the answer to this b.s., but why do I have the sneaking suspicion that this idea won't last? Add to that the stupid branding of calling these things 'forever' and I'm even more skeptical. I know my mailing habits have decreased significantly thanks to the Internets. I'm pretty sure the only thing that winds up in my mailbox these days is junk mail and the only things I send out are Netflix movies. So when it's time to send a friend or relative a check for a charity fundraising effort, there I am trying to figure out which fucking stamp to put on the envelop. I ultimately wind up putting two or three on just to make sure the letter doesn't get returned to me.

There's so much else that sucks right now, but maybe it's not terribly effective to gripe about all these things. Besides, I finally found the Dark Chocolate Snickers bar, and now things don't suck so badly.

Peace Out.

With The Fishes

Being a Colorado native, I've never had much of a need for swimming. Growing up on a coast, I can imagine you might get to the beach quite a bit during the summer. But growing up in Colorado, the odds aren't very good that you'll fall out of a boat. There's not much water here.

Painful childhood memories came to the surface quite recently when we took our dog Macy swimming. Courtesy of the good folks at CRCG, we found an indoor swimming pool... for dogs.

Macy's first visit was really quite sad. She was terrified of the water, and while the experienced dogs were bounding into the pool chasing tennis balls and floaty toys, Macy ran along the deck barking. Occaisionally she'd get the nerve up to get her paws into the water, but that was about as much as she was willing to do. At one point a pool employee outfitted our fine dog in a life vest which, as the owner, was quite embarassing. All the other dogs were splashing and having fun while ours wallowed in the shallow area looking pretty foolish.

This took me back to summers spent with my friends. One friend in particular had a swimming pool in his backyard. All summer we played in the pool, and while I'm sure we had a good time, the feeling of being alone in the shallow end while the rest of the guys jumped off the diving board and cruised down the slide, left me unsettled while watching Macy.

The next visit to the dog pool was a bit more positive. Macy wasted no time getting her paws into the water and eventually found herself chest-deep reaching for the bobbing tennis balls within grasp of her long jaw. While this was all well and good, I grew frustrated and wound up giving Macy a bit of 'help' getting into the deeper water. As I was mindful of making sure she didn't sink to the bottom, her survivor insticts kicked in and she dog paddled her way to the shallow area. Granted, she had a panicked look on her face the whole way, but damnit, she swam!

This past Sunday marked our return visit to the pool. Macy's excitement heading toward the door relieved me of any guilt I may have felt for pushing her into the pool on our last visit. We started off with the pool to ourselves and Macy pussyfooting her way into the water she was comfortable with. After a while, a gorgeous English Lab arrived at the pool. Frasier was quite experienced with the whole scene and was unphased as Macy took floaty toys from him after he retrieved them from the deeper areas. But Frasier was wise to Macy's game and began leaving the toys floating in the water where Macy could grab them. This led to the lab leaving the toys a bit further out each time, taunting Macy with their attainability. Finally, the temptation of a toy got the best of Macy and she soon found herself paddling for dear life back to the shallow area... with a toy in her mouth. The excitment between myself and Macy's mom (yes, the wife) was just stupid. We celebrated this achievemnt with the kind of praise normally reserved for saving orphans from a burning building, but damnit... Macy swam. And she swam and swam and swam.
Maybe I'm just goofy, but I swear I saw Macy strut with pride after she got out of the pool. The expression on her face, while exhausted, looked quite happy. For myself, my swimming demons left me a year ago, after I learned to swim so I could complete a triathlong. Exciting the reservoir after close to a mile swim and Macy shaking herself off at the dog pool could have been parallel edited into some kind of montage with 'We Are The Champions' as the soundtrack, but for both of us, it wouldn't have been cliche. It would have been appropriate.

Ripped Off

Fuckin' February. The shortest month of the year.
First, I think it was Chris Rock as Nat-X on SNL who asked why Black History Month was the shortest month of the year. Blame the Man.
And now, I find out that the best Dairy Queen Blizzard flavor of the month: Chocolate Dipped Strawberries, is the flavor of the month for February. And I just found this out YESTERDAY! That was the 23rd! There's less than a week for me to enjoy this delicious frozen treat! Good thing I just finished one. Already planning my run tomorrow so I can get another. Hell yeah!

At The Movies

It's Oscar Eve. Well, that used to be a much bigger deal for me than it is this year, or really the past two years. Sure, there'll still be the annual party and Oscar Pool, but the excitement is beginning to wain with one big reason why.

I haven't seen all the major nominated films. I've probalby got about 75% of them covered, but I used to see over 100 movies in theaters every year. Many years I would have even seen the 5 nominated documentaries and foreign films. This year, I'm still missing one of the Best Picture nominees. Unheard of!

So, why am I not going to the movies as much as I used to? This is one of the big questions people in Hollywood are asking. Not just about me, but the marketplace as a whole. There's plenty of reporting about falling box office dollars from year to year, but I think the most telling figure is the falling ticket sales. Ticket prices continue to go up, but if overall box office revenue continues to fall, that means fewer people are going to movie theaters.

The press covering Hollywood is quick to say that people aren't going to the movies because of all the other options available to them. DVD, home theaters, and the Internets have all been accused of keeping people from the multiplex, and all along I've been suggesting something else entirely. Finally, the good folks at Newsweek got it.

In case the link attempt didn't work, the answer is TV is good! That's right, the boob tube is churing out better / more original product than the movie studio boobs. The intrigue of Lost, the excitment of Heroes, the laughs of Earl, The Office and How I Met Your Mother have been keeping me away from the cinema. Add a DVR to the mix and I'm watching better stuff on Saturday nights than the Godzilla-plex can offer.

I paid nearly $20 for the wife and I to see Babel. Let's just say if Babel wins Best Picture tommorow night, I'm gonna be pissed! For my Jackson, we were both bored and totally unimpressed for over 2hrs. With TV, we don't take that chance. If the show sucks we turn the channel and find something else. I don't even watch most of those 'acclaimed' shows like Grey's Anatomy, House, 24, CSI, etc. so TV is even better than I claim it to be.

I saw Bobby back in December and last week was Children of Men. Both movies were good, but both were pretty ruined by the fuckers sitting next to us talking. Chances are, if you go to a movie today and a cell phone doesn't ring during the film, there'll be people behind you talking. While Bobby played out with more celebrity cameos than a sweeps week episode of the Love Boat, I got treated to four women old enough to know better but too young to be excused for it try to one-up each other as to who could pull the celeb' name out of their brain faster. "Ooo, that's Demi Moore!" - "Isn't that Sharon Stone?" - "That's the guy who's dating Demi" - "No, they're married now." - "Are you sure?" - "What's his name?". It took me staring at them and shouting "Jesus Christ!" for them to shut up, though I'm surprised they didn't call me on the fact that Jesus Christ was not in the movie.

So, why would I want to go to the movies even if the quality of the films improves? The movie studios and theaters need to start working on these problems - make better and more interesting movies and start expecting people to act with some degree of respect for others when they go out.

Meanwhile, I'll be watching my network tv favorites and catching up on movies from Netflix, even if it means not winning the Oscar Pool.

More CNN QuickPoll

My love for the CNN QuickPoll had a startling development the past couple days.
On February 13, the poll question appeared (something to the effect): When given the choice do you buy American made products over foreign?
Well, I had to vote 'no' because of one thing - my car. Really how often do you see products side-by-side where one is made in the U.S. and one is made elsewhere? Immediately I considered automobiles, and I love Hondas, Mazdas and Toyotas and my current car is a Subaru. And surely I see more Hondas, Mazdas, Toyotas and Subarus on the road than I see Ford, Chevy or Dodge. 'This should be about a 50%/50% split at the very least', I thought.
The poll result? It was something like 78% 'yes' and 22% 'no'. How can that be?

Today, February 14, is when it gets good. the CNN QuickPollers threw this one out to the legions: Do you own an American made car? YES! They did it! The CNN QuickPollers shot out the middle-finger to the QuickPoll audience. I knew immediately what they were getting at, and the results may astound you... it was about 50%/50% muthafucka!!!

After expelling a maniacal 'Ahhhhh Haaaa!' from behind my laptop, I got to thinking... are we really this proud? (By 'we' I meant fellow CNN QuickPoll respondents). There's about a third of us so nationalistic we don't even realize the things of which we don't support the USA. These CNN QuickPolls revealed that we think we're good, supportive Americans, but we aren't. Unless, of course, some folks lied about their QuickPoll answer. Yeah, that's it.